Humortråden

[Sanniz]

[Sanniz]

[Adrenaline]

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[ViLa]

- - - Uppdaterad - - -

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[Sanniz]

Gammal favorit...

[rakarör]

Gammal favorit...

Jävligt bra.

[Pettsson]

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[Harleyman1]

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[Sanniz]

Bra att ha till nästa fest?

[Mercakombi]

Från vanligtvis välunderrättad källa meddelas det att det har upptäckts vad det är
som får elprylar att fungera.

Det är röken som gör det!

Det är nämligen så att varje gång röken läcker ut ur en elektrisk grej så slutar den
att fungera. Detta har bevisats genom omfattande tester.

Tänk efter själv!

Kommer det rök ur laddningsregulatorn på bilen? Bilen stannade. Eller när det kom rök
ur diskmaskinen? Stopp! Det är naturligtvis så att isoleringen som ligger runt trådarna
är till för att hålla röken på plats, och när isoleringen läcker så åker röken ur och allt
stannar.

En del grejer behöver mer rök än andra, t.ex. startmotorn på bilen, därför är kabeln
tjockare. Man kan utveckla teorin längre. Varför läcker Lucas (det plötsliga och totala
mörkrets uppfinnare) mer än t.ex. Bosch? Ja, Lucas är engelskt.... allt engelskt läcker!
Engelska hustak läcker vatten, engelska motorcyklar läcker olja, engelska däck läcker
luft. Engelska regeringen läcker försvarshemligheter.

Så naturligtvis läcker engelska elattiraljer rök!

[Mercakombi]

Så var det Olle i Norge som gjorde lumpen. Han var inne
på sjukstugan där han sa:
- Jag skulle vilja bli kastrerad.
- Är du verkligen säker på det?
- Jag, jag vill bli kastrerad.

När han kom ut efter kastreringen mötte han en av sina
lumparkompisar som frågade:
- Hur gick det med vaccineringen?
- Vaccinering? Var det så det hette.....

[Sanniz]

[stroker49]

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."


Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"

"That is remarkable value" Michael comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please.

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"

Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".


"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"


O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up.


"I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.

"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."


O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,

"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please."


O'Leary's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"


"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"


"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"


"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"


"I will never use this bar again "

OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"

[Sanniz]

[Mercakombi]

Allt som kunde gå åt helvet gick åt helvete, och det rejält